Nina B Therapy
  Relationship Counselling and Sex Therapy

              Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia based Relationship and Sex Therapist    

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Pornography Appeal

Posted on 19 May, 2015 at 2:20

I have read and watched many programmes on the damaging effects that pornography is having on our youth. How it is distorting our views on sex, what is normal and what is healthy. The industry is certainly no longer in a brown paper bag, but even I still have a little feeling of angst walking into an adult store. Perhaps that’s part of the excitement.

 

HERE ARE THE THINGS I AGREE WITH WHEN IT COMES TO THE MARCH AGAINST PORN.

 

It is damaging to woman and men in the industry whether they engage consensually or are compliant for other reasons. Their bodies are pumped with sustaining chemicals, stretched beyond repair in some cases, surgeries to correct or enhance features that are normal for others and lastly, the enduring mental issues.

It is not a realistic representation of what actually happens in the bedroom.

It does distort what men believe woman want and enjoy. It does distort what woman think men can do and the size of a penis.

Porn does distort the notion of a woman having the right to control what happens to her body and whether or not she enjoys it.

Porn is not responsible for our sexuality. IT CAN, HOWEVER, INFLUENCE OUR TRIGGERS FOR AROUSAL AND THAT WILL STAY WITH YOU.

is not a disease.

 

WHAT I DON’T BELIEVE PORNOGRAPHY SHOULD NOT BE BLAMED FOR!

 

Pornography has been around since the early ages. It has lasted because it does speak to human arousal. There are parts of our animal instinct that taps into the power dynamic found in sex.

Let’s be honest, there are certain mechanics in sex. Something is going to be penetrated! Let’s stop freaking out about woman and men being subject to all this horror. It is just how it works. THE POWER IS IN THE ATTITUDE OF THE GIVER AND RECEIVER.

Porn is not there to teach us about real life sex because it does not incorporate the most important aspects of sex which are INTIMACY and EMOTIONAL CONNECTION! We alone are responsible for linking this to our sex lives.

Woman and men need to learn to be an advocate for their own bodies. Have the courage to tell your partner what you like, what you may be willing to try and what is not negotiable!

Youth need to learn that as they mature they learn what they truly get pleasure from. Just because it is on a screen it doesn’t mean you have to like it.

They are not gifts given out like candy. If a woman is not fully present mentally and physically enjoying what is happening for her, she will not be able to orgasm. If a man is feeling pressured, devalued or that his partner doesn’t really want to be there, he will begin to experience sexual issues.

 

It is incredibly liberating to take control of your wants and needs as sexual being. It is your basic right. Perhaps you like things a little outside the box, that doesn’t make you sick or a slut. Sex is an incredible bonding experience for two people in love. Explore yourself, explore your partner respectfully.

 

PS: Please please please don’t share private images or video.IT IS FOREVER!

Categories: Relationship Health, Sexual Dysfunctions, Quick Tips and Information

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